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The Lowe-down


Dale's School of Hockey Cliches

Friday, September 25, 2009


There's definitely a buzz around every water cooler between Mather's Corners and Villiers - - everyone's talking about (okay, nobody's really talking about it...but please play along, alright?) this Sunday's season opener of the Otonabee Oldtimers hockey league down in Keene.  Plenty of good seats still available (like pretty much any seat you would want). 

Life as an Oldtimer hockey player isn't really that glamorous.  I got a message on my answering machine earlier this week from Scott McIntyre...gently breaking the news to me that I had been traded from Pinecrest Golf Club to Birdsall Beach Resort.  Traded - -for a box of recycled golf balls and future considerations.  Ouch.

But hey, I've seen enough hockey interviews.  I've learned all the cliches.  I know how to handle this.  So, here is my post-trade "interview" response:

"(Sniff) I know it was just a hockey decision.  And, I'm actually looking forward to a fresh start in a new city.  I know I've been struggling lately,  but I just gotta keep working hard, (sniff) and hopefully things will start going my way.  Just gotta show up and play a full 60 minutes of hockey every Sunday afternoon...(sniff) get some pucks on net...and hopefully get a few lucky bounces."

Not bad, huh?  You too can be a graduate of the Dale Lowe School of Hockey Cliches!  Just practice and memorize the following cliches, and you'll also be qualified to be interviewed as a hockey player.

1) We just gotta get pucks in deep...establish our forecheck...and get pucks at the net.

2) We need to generate more traffic in front of the net.

3) We need to play a full 60 minutes of hockey.

4) We just have to take it one shift at a time.

5) We just gotta give it 110% every shift.

6) We have to play our game...play to our strengths...and we should be okay.

7) I've gotta play my game..and do everything within my control.

8) We just didn't get the bounces.

9) (*superstar's name*) has a lower/upper body injury.

10) With (*superstar*) out of the lineup, some of us will really have to step up.

11)  It was a solid team effort.

12) (*opponent's name*) Well, they're a hard-working team.

13) We need to score early, and stay out of the penalty box.

14)  With our power play, we just try to keep it simple.

15) We didn't play well, but we got the win and that's all that matters.

16) We can't dwell on this loss.  We just gotta focus on the next game.

17) It's not how you start the season...it's how you finish.

18)  This is always a tough building to come and play in.  But, we played hard...and were fortunate enough to steal 2 points in their barn.


Oh, I'm sure there are plenty more.  Please let me know what I've overlooked, so that I can add them to my repertoire/curriculum.

Game On!
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SEPTEMBER 2009
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