In honour of Russell Martin’s recent slip and fall in the shower here are the top 10 dumbest injuries that caused MLB players to miss games:
9.) Ricky Henderson falls asleep with an icepack and wakes up with actual frostbite – In August. To be fair, this is a man who constantly refers to himself in the third person so he may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer.
8.) Joel Zumaya missed 3 playoff games (2006 ALCS) due to inflammation of his wrist and forearm of his pitching arm from playing Guitar Hero a little too often. Now we know what pitchers are doing in their off-days.
6.) Marty Cordova was forced to miss several games after falling asleep in a tanning bed and sustaining severe burns. Now if only somebody would give Donald Trump some Xanax next time he goes for a tan…
5.) Knuckleballer Steve Sparks was trying to fire up his team with a motivational speech where he attempted to tear a phone book in half with his bare hands. He ended up dislocating his shoulder instead. He’s the second Tigers pitcher to end up on this list making me wonder if there’s a problem with the water in Detroit – oh wait, that’s Flint, never mind.
1.) Clarence Blethen sustained a serious flesh wound sliding into second base when his false teeth that he kept in his back pocket literally bit a chunk out of his ass. 2 minutes for being stupid Clarence!